Eric Cartman: Great Fictional American Hero

Eric Cartman is the star of the Comedy Central show South Park. He is a dear innocent child growing up with his more sinful and liberal friends: Kyle, Stan, kenny, and Butters.
Cartman is a big boned fourth-grader living with his mom in the town of South Park, Colorado, where he has wonderful adventures not typical of conventional small-town life. We watch as he perseveres through these adventures, to maintain his strong christian identity.

Cartman is one of the most popular characters on the show, and has remained one of the most recognizable television characters ever since South Park became a hit during its first season. Parker and Stone describe the character as “a little Archie Bunker”, and state that he is their favorite character, and the one with whom they most identify. During its fifteen seasons, South Park has received both praise and criticism for Cartman’s tendency to be politically incorrect and shockingly profane. Prominent publications and television channels have included Cartman on their lists of the most iconic television and cartoon characters of all time.

via wikipedia

Breast Reduction: Throwing Away God’s Gifts

June 7, 2011 - This Sunday’s ladies Bible Study class was on “Appreciating the gifts that god has given you”. After church one of the younger women came up to me to ask a few questions. Jessica is a sweet girl in her early 20′s, and is a good righteous Christian, She is single at the moment and will one day make a Christian man a wonderful wife.

Jessica at last years trip to white water

She explained to me that she was well aware that we should accept and be appreciative of the gifts that God has bestowed upon us, but was worried that one of her gifts had brought undue attention to her. It seems as if God has bestowed her with a very ample bosom. She went on to explain that since she had started to “develop” at the age of 12, boys have made cruel jokes and comments to her and about her, that some of the less godly had tried to touch her inappropriately in her teens, and that as a young adult it seems that men only want to date her because of her chest. She has had trouble finding a man that wants more than to just fornicate with her, and is afraid that she is unknowingly leading them to committing self fornication with their rigid sin sticks, at the thought and imagination of her bountiful bosom. Then she dropped the bomb…she was considering Breast Reduction and wondered if god would find it OK.


I knew that Jessica had been blessed but I was surprised to find that she could no longer buy braziers in normal stores as her heaving breasts had become too gargantuan for a typical bra to hold them. I have to admit that I was rather shocked. As a woman of ample breast size myself…well, atleast in my youth…it’s funny what gravity does to the old girls with time, but I digress. I told her that I knew some of the pain that she had experienced. But I told her that I finally found the right man for me, a good man, a Christian man who kept his marauding hands to himself until our wedding night (and then every Monday, Thursday and occasional Saturday for over 50 years).

Elf Found Stealing PS4s For Santa

Saturday – Police were called to a warehouse in a commercial district in Los Angeles. When they arrived they were shocked by what they found.

Dock workers had reported suspicious events occurring around a shipping container as soon as it entered port. Workers notified the police who then set up surveillance around the container day and night. Finally this Saturday morning at 3:31 AM their net ensnared the guilty party.

“I walk in guns drawn and there’s this midg…short person… what ever – there is a four foot tall guy that has busted up in a shipping container, and he’s pulling out Play Station 4s (PS4). I yell, STOP. POLICE. PUT  YOUR HANDS UP, YOU’RE UNDER ARREST. This guy turns around and he is the craziest looking guy I have ever seen. ” said Detective Andy Sipowitz, arresting officer on the case.

Égion Saerdir, reportedly of the North Pole, was found in the possession of the stolen material. When booked he was found to be of pale skin, 3 foot 4 inches in height and dressed in green. He also has long pointed ears. The police were baffled until he explained that he was an elf from the North Pole.

National Report spoke with Mr. Saerdir after making bond, he had this to say, “Times is hard. There is a international recession going on. Santa has had to lay off elves and there is no way that we are set up to make something as technological as this, and those damned Japs would never license it to us. God I hate the Japanese. So you gotta do what you gotta do. It’s like that. Kids want it and if we don’t get good kids the toys they deserve they stop believing in Santa, then Jesus, and then they are only a step away from shooting up a school! WHO IS THE REAL CRIMINAL HERE?”

The PS4 is a popular game console, sold by Sony Corporation, a Japanese corporation headquartered in Tokyo, Japan. The company is primarily focused on electronics, gaming, entertainment and financial services.

Kazuo Hirai,President and CEO of Sony Corp. Had this to say of the break in, “We no drop charges. We no make toys for free.  Sony corporation, we make money. You want PS4, You pay for it. We see you in court. We tell fat man many time, you no get for free. Now he send creepy thief henchmen. Bah hum bug!”

After several unreturned phone calls we finally managed to talk with Santa Clause, or “The Fat Man” as Mr. Hirai, referred to him.

“The North Pole had nothing to do with this crime. I reward the good, how can I do that while condoning crime? Égion, is a poor misguided youth. I just took him on last year. He has had a hard life. You see in 1995 my sled was shot down over Kosovo. Égion’s father was with me. That was a tough night. Only me, and Blitzen survived. Australia and most of Asia didn’t get their presents until January that year. Not many people know about that night.” said Santa.


When asked about the North Poles relationship with Sony, he had this to say: “Ugh. Everytime it is the same thing with those people. They roll out a new game platform and every kid on the planet wants one. There are what… 8 billion people on earth. Maybe a quarter of that is kids, maybe a tenth of that is good enough to be worthy on one. That is still millions and millions of children. Sony hasn’t even made that many yet. And to make it worse they roll them out right before Christmas. So every kid expects one. So it drives up the cost. I mean my God have you looked at craigslist? People are asking for $500 or more for them! It’s ridiculous."

When asked for comment on Mr. Clauses comments Mr. Hirai had this to say; “What he mean ‘those people’?”

Original George Zimmerman Painting On Ebay

Everyone’s favorite Jew-Mexi-American, Castle Doctrine shooter George Zimmerman has turned to art after having many legal issues of late, including shooting a black kid, beating and threatening his wife and then beating his girlfriend. Well he is now selling his art on eBay to turn a buck or two.

I am not an art critic but it doesn’t look to bad. On the eBay posting he writes:

“First hand painted artwork by me, George Zimmerman. Everyone has been asking what I have been doing with myself. I found a creative, way to express myself, my emotions and the symbols that represent my experiences. My art work allows me to reflect, providing a therapeutic outlet and allows me to remain indoors I hope you enjoy owning this piece as much as I enjoyed creating it. Your friend, George Zimmerman”

India Recalls Criminal Female Diplomat, Only To Be Gang Raped At Home

Diplomat arrested in US for labor law violations

Earlier this week an Indian diplomat here in the US found their self in a bit of legal trouble. Devyani Khobragade, India's deputy consul general in New York, was accused of submitting false documents to get a work visa for her Indian servant to come to Manhattan. She was arrested and handcuffed Thursday as she dropped off her daughter at school

It is being reported in Indian news reports, that she was strip searched and kept in a cell with drug addicts before posting $250,000 bail. This is causing quite a stir in India, as wealthy people there are not subjected to common security issues, as we are here. This is probably the reason Bombay was recently taken over by terrorists for a week. Only poor people are subjected to common security tactics in India.

Upcoming series: Great Fictional American Heros

May 25, 2011 - Recently I read the series by August Weisz, called “Portrait of a Christian Hero”. This wonderful series chronicled several men who have proven to be great role models for today’s American youth.
I was actually just reading Stephenson Billings article “Should I Hire a Hippie” and I was reminded of my own personal favorite Hippie Hater Eric Cartman. I realized that some of the flock may not be familiar with some of these great Americans.

Also some may question why we are celebrating fictional characters. I ask you, Is Velma from Scooby Doo fame any less real than Arnold Schwarzenegger?

So who do you think should be added to the list? List them in the comments, or write on my facebook wall (real graffiti wouldn’t be tolerated by a great fictional American hero).

Ready for the Swimsuit Sin Season?

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The Homogay Agenda and the Androgynous Child

May 24, 2011 - Canadian couple Kathy Witterick and David Stocker of Toronto, Canada have announced the birth of their baby, Storm. Beside to obvious thought into the childs name something else was missing.

“We’ve decided not to share Storm’s sex for now, a tribute to freedom and choice in place of limitation, a stand up to what the world could become in Storm’s lifetime (a more progressive place? …),” they wrote in an email to friends and family.

I am sure much to the dismay of friends and family who are confused about what to buy the child, they hold fast to not revealing the sex of the child.
“What we noticed is that parents make so many choices for their children. It’s obnoxious,” states Stocker, a teacher at an alternative school.

A VERY ALTERNATIVE school I would imagine.

Pedofile Fried Chicken

May 24, 2011-Today I came across this picture. It is of a fried chicken drum stick meal in some foreign land. I dont know which one…I am guessing Germany, their all freaks; Or maybe it is whatever country the Vatican is in.

But with a name like “Lick’n Kiddies Meal” I am disgusted. These child molesters in foreign lands may like to mock us Americans for enforcing the morals of God on a sinful world, and may even find it amusing to abuse the anuses of their children, but we will NEVER accept something as wrong as this in this great country!

USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA!

Meaning of the Muslim War Cry

May 22, 2011-The satanic warcry of the Muslim terrorist we have all heard it, but what does it mean?
AHlalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalah!

Appearantly it is called a Ululation. It is a version of of the Word Allah. And losely translated means “Death to America”.

During my research I discovered that Xena of the TV show Xena Warrior Princess also did it. Which leads me to wonder if Xena was a recruitment tool used over a decade ago to lure Americans into a sympathetic terror state of mind.