Tuesday, October 1, 2019

A Goodbye To Bruce Danus



I received some very upsetting news this weekend. It seems that my very good friend Bruce Danus
passed away last week. I am told that he passed peacefully in his sleep.

R.I.P Bruce/Myron Danus
I first met Bruce about 10 years ago when we both worked at the once great website christwire. I had spent 30 years writing religious pamphlets an bible school books. It was my first time working for a big international website and Brother Bruce took the time to teach me the HTMLs.

We had such great fun back in those days. Sometimes I would host them all down in Atlanta, and everyone would drive down. There was August wiesz, he would bring bratwurst. Mr. Stephenson Billings would bring some tennessee barbecue, Mrs. Blanch Beechum would bring potatoe salad. It was never as good as mine but we would eat it anyway. Kirwin Watson would bring his to die for Fried Chicken, Brother Smith would bring tacos or burritos, And Brother Tyson Bowers would himself. We would eat and joke until the wee hours when we would talk about how much we hated the moon, of course that conversation was always started by brother Weisz.

I remember Bruce would always take public transportation so as to preach unto the poor heathen masses. So he would always take the MARTA train to my estate. Of course he always got robbed! But Bruce was always the giving sort!

A Typical Bruce Playlist
Since Christwire was a religious website we were always getting harrassed by atheist and muslim terrorist detractors. I remember fondly the time he turned the horrible Claire Snedecker into a decent Christian woman and they wed. It was a beautiful ceremony at my house. We even allowed Claires evil cats to prowl the grounds. At dinner claire told us about graduating from her "collage". We had such fun laughing at her that night.
Bruce was so happy that day. But then claire of course relapsed into her horrible sinning self again and divorced Brother Bruce at the end of the week.

Of course like all good churches everything fell apart because of tax evasion and frequenting of hookers. Shame on brothers Watson and Bowers for that sinful weekend in Vegas that brought about our downfall.

After the fall of christwire us writers all went our own ways. Most of us worked for other sites, some of us attempted to start our own sites, but us christwire writers always stayed in touch.

Bruce inspired by hookers bringing down christwire decided to devote his life to bringing good Christian music to strippers and preaching to them and occasionally laying hands on them to teach them of gods love.

Much to peoples surprise, Bruce first gained fame as a semi Pro Wrestler in Portland in the early
Bruces Fashion Days
2000s. But gave that life up when he realized he was being used as a puppet of the homogay agenda.
Upon being told that his name Bruce Danus sounded like a satanic homogay euphemism he changed his name to Myron Danus and continued to bring the works of Jesus Christ to the masses through the sharing of memes.

He continued to preach to people through public transportation, even taking to uber and preaching the love of Jesus to evil arab muslim terrorist uber drivers. He also became a fashion model a few years ago and used it as a way to reach out to the homogays of Portland Oregon, his home and center of western homogayedness.

But finally his last cause in the name of Christ was helping to stop masturbation. He worked tirelessly spreading the work of Lonnie Childs and his STOP Masturbation NOW program. He would often beg masturbators to think of him while touching them selves and miraculously they would stop what they were doing immediately.

Bruce/Myron was a good guy, and we will all miss him dearly. 
Rest In Peace my friend.
Bruce Danus Professional Wrestler

1 comment:

  1. I will miss Brother Bruce dearly.... I helped him on holy projects that dealt with Satan, Nazis, Homogays & other dark corners that needed more or better lighting. Rest is peace brother.
    Bless you. ~The Reverend Stu'

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