God Hates Tom Brady: How A Patriot Sold His Soul To The Devil

I was born in 1930 In Atlanta. I have seen many things in my life. But what I saw Sunday night took the cake. The Atlanta Falcon’s with God himself on their side were laying holy waste to the disgusting deceptive New England Patriots. As if any Yankee northerner could ever be a patriot to this great God fearing nation. The score was 28 to 3. The Falcons were winning with God the mighty Jehovah on their side. But then something happened.

Time Warner Purchases The Onion

In a surprising turn of events today, it has been announced that Time Warner, has purchased the "satire" website The Onion.
 The Onion is was started in 1996 by Tom Keck and Christopher Johannson, and is known for it's mildly amusing articles lampooning political leaders, celebrities and news. But has seen it's popularity wane in recent years as better satire websites have popped up. Time Warner is an American Media company and is the world's third largest broadcasting and cable company. It is known mostly for it's cable company and the channels that it puts on that cable network, including HBO.

 "We feel that this is going to be a positive acquisition, for our company. I can really see a home for The Onion on Comedy Central. With Colbert leaving to do that little CBS show. We feel that we can put a show into development and replace Colbert quickly, and honestly it was a good buy." Stated William Deckinson, VP of entertainment at Time Warner.