Tuesday, July 22, 2014

Time Warner Purchases The Onion

onionIn a surprising turn of events today, it has been announced that Time Warner, has purchased the "satire" website The Onion.
 The Onion is was started in 1996 by Tom Keck and Christopher Johannson, and is known for it's mildly amusing articles lampooning political leaders, celebrities and news. But has seen it's popularity wane in recent years as better satire websites have popped up. Time Warner is an American Media company and is the world's third largest broadcasting and cable company. It is known mostly for it's cable company and the channels that it puts on that cable network, including HBO.

 "We feel that this is going to be a positive acquisition, for our company. I can really see a home for The Onion on Comedy Central. With Colbert leaving to do that little CBS show. We feel that we can put a show into development and replace Colbert quickly, and honestly it was a good buy." Stated William Deckinson, VP of entertainment at Time Warner.

Wednesday, July 16, 2014

BREAKING NEWS: C/Net Has More Viruses Than CDC

more viruses than CDC
 More viruses than CDC
National Report - As I near the end of my time here on Earth, I like many others come to be interested in where I came from. I have over 80 years of history in my head but there is more history that I do not know about. That is why I have turned to genealogy to learn more about where I have come from. I know that the Xenu family has a very proud history in this country going back to Jamestown, Virginia where Zacharias Xenu was a sailor on board a supply ship that fell in love with an Indian woman and fathered many little half red man babies.

Recently I decided that with so many ancestors, I needed to turn to the Internet to get a computer program that could help me. My grandson told me about download.com a website hosted by C/net.com, a supposedly reputable company. I downloaded the program and the first time that I used it the program crashed. Then a little ad popped up. Then something popped up saying that my computer was infected. I called my grandson back to fix the mess.

He told me that the program that I had just downloaded was probably a virus and He immediately started a program called Search and Destroy. He said that this was a program that would get rid of all the evil viruses that stupid program had loaded. The good program found several viruses and when he tried to fix it but it would not allow him to remove the viruses. He uninstalled one program only to find it had reappeared days later.

What kind of reputable company would disguise such vile viruses as a legitimate program? I immediately went back to the website to file a review of the fake program, of course I had to sign up for an account, and then it would not allow me to leave my negative review! But of course the email spam from C/net started coming. I then tried to find an email address to let them know what a horrible program they were allowing unexpecting internet users to download, and of course there was no contact information on their website. I had to google c/nets email address and sent them a lengthy email letting them know what I thought of their website. The reply I received was :
 So you can send me more spam or infect my computer some more? So you can send me more spam or infect my computer some more?

Yeah. Like I am clicking on that. Luckily Jimmy was able to finally open the computer in something called “safe mode networking” and was able to uninstall the programs (My PCBackup and Lucky Leaf) as well as use the Search and Destroy program to remove the virus files left in the registry.

Reputable programs do not make it so that you can not remove them. Reputable programs do not make it so that you can not remove them.[/caption] In researching how to remove these programs Jimmy found a website where everyone commented that they all had gotten these harmful and damaging viruses at C/net. Personally I am disgusted that a company like this would allow such pure crap as this on their servers. I am writing this to help others and in hopes that C/net might make this situation right.cnet-logo

NYC Mayor Bloomberg to Ban Buffets

This man denies businesses the right to make money just as he has.
This man denies businesses the right to make money just as he has.

New York City’s Mayor Bloomberg has never been one to shy away from political controversy and  constitutional over stepping. He has used $100,000 of city money to send NYC police to Arizona gun shows, has banned large sodas from NYC, supported racist campaigns against African Americans, fingerprinted the poor, encouraged forced breast feeding, sent $250,000 to encourage abortions, and has possibly illegally purchased guns that he denies to law abiding citizens. But now, right before his term as the 108th Mayor of NYC comes to an end, he has decided to use his executive privilege to ban buffets in the city.
Buffets are restaurants that charge one flat price and allow its patrons to eat as much as they wish. Bloomberg has fought a personal war against over weight people for the last year. It was a year ago that he denied freedom loving Americans their constitutional right to sodas and colas in large cups, by limiting the size to only 16 ounces.
Kicked out of New York city
Kicked out of NYC

But now the outgoing mayor is blatantly trying to ruin businesses such as Golden Corral and Ryan’s, and countless local Chinese Buffets, by running them out of business. Bloomberg is a business man himself but has no problem it seems, ruining these businesses and preventing them from freely operating in the Free Market.

We managed to reach Duan Johnson, General Manager of the Times Square Golden Corral, who had this to say:
“I can’t believe he is doing this! I don’t know what we are going to do. There simply isn't enough time to do anything about it. Corporate says to shut down. How do I tell 30 something employees that they are fired? “
Bloomberg is supposedly a liberal, aren’t liberals supposed to
Banned in NYC
Banned in NYC

be accepting of all kinds of people? But why does he hate fat people so much? Why is Bloomberg waging this war against fat people? He is the biggest loser here.

Bloomberg told The New York Times, “Obesity is a nationwide problem, and all over the United States, public health officials are wringing their hands saying, ‘Oh, this is terrible.’ New York City is not about wringing your hands; it’s about doing something. I think that’s what the public wants the mayor to do,” last week.

Luckily this man will soon enough be removed from office and hopefully a more moderate and sane voice will be in the Mayors office. The new law is set to go into effect on October 15th.
Let Mayor Bloomberg know what you think by tweeting this article to:
@NYCMayorsOffice @nycgov @BloombergNews

The Girl Scouts Are Sinful Cookie Selling Lesbians

 Swanson added that Girl Scouts are creating a generation of independent women who will put a “communist in the White House” and promote the “gay and lesbian agenda.”

National Report – Every fall Girl Scouts descend upon grocery stores around the nation to hock their glucose containing cookies. But what are you buying when you buy those cookies. You are buying a one way trip to lesbianism, liberalism, communism, and eventual hell for a young girl, according to pastors Kevin Swanson and Dave Buehner of Generations Radio. 

Swanson begs us as Christians not to purchase the demon cookies. “Please, I beg of you, do not buy Girl Scout cookies,” Swanson said. “Please, I beg of you, stop buying Girl Scout cookies.”
He goes on to add that if you do you should “take a big, fat, black magic marker” and “start marking out all of the references to the Girl Scouts of America on all the boxes.” He then goes on to explain that the Girl Scouts are promoting lesbianism and abortion, and calls the cookies “food offered to idols.”

Wednesday, April 2, 2014

Reverse Christian Cowgirl: A New Marital Position

Last week I wrote an article entitled “Is Doggy style acceptible for Christian woman?” that revealed to Christian women that there were no biblical restrictions on sexual positions within marriage. Since then I have been inundated by questions from women at my church and by emails from women on Christwire and on my facebook page, wanting to know about what other sexual positions might be available to them. I have told them that with the

exception of homogay anal sodomy, that anything within their imagination is free game. But Still I am asked to inform them about particular positions. I am very hesitant to do this as I do not wish to become the Dr. Ruth of Christwire. But I keep getting questioned and emailed constantly.

I have finally relented. I asked around to some of the married women and to some of my grand daughters whorelot friends, and have even visited some very dubious internet websites. I found one online that sounded rather wholesome with a wonderful name: Reverse Cowgirl, also known as RCG. It seems to be related to the cowgirl position, which simply is the woman on top of the man, but in this case turned facing away from the man, as if to hide her shame.

Many christian men may find this position a turn off as it gives the “power” to the woman. It also typically gives more pleasure to the woman. In this position the woman has greater control over the extent and duration of the penetration. The woman faces away from the man. She can either be in a kneeling or squatting position and can have her torso upright, or she can have it aligned with the inserting man’s body. It serves to stimulate the most sensitive parts of the man’s sin stick as a result of the way it is forced to bend while at the same time rubbing on the female G-spot and naughty nub simultaneously.

Features of the reverse cowgirl position:
* penetration is quite deep
* the woman can control the depth and intensity of penetration, and enjoy the dominant feeling of being in control
* some men enjoy the submissive feeling of being on the bottom

Disadvantages of the reverse cowgirl position:
* neither partner can see the other well
* caressing is difficult
* some women find supporting their weight on their arms hard

Since the sin stick is bent downwards in this position, care needs to be taken in this position, to avoid damage to it, particularly if it slips out during naughty time.
I recommend that if you enjoy this position, but feel dirty for participating in a position other than the traditional missionary may I suggest the Reverse Christian Cowgirl, which as your doing RCG you pray to god…“OH God, Oh God, Praise be unto Jesus!”

Tuesday, April 1, 2014

New Camaro Turning Grannies Into Loose Sluts

May 31, 2011 -
I can’t believe that General Motors would be encouraging such a despicable thing as this:

Monday, March 31, 2014

James Tiberius Kirk: Great Fictional American Hero

Although many Christwire articles cite Star Trek as a cesspit if inequity there is one bright shining star of American Morality on the horizon.

James Tiberius “Jim” Kirk also known as Captain Kirk, was born and raised in Riverside, Iowa on 22 March 2233. In 2250, he started his training at Starfleet Academy in San Francisco. Luckily in the 200 years from now San Francisco has been cleaned of much of the filth that inhabits it now. It is certain that he did not succumb to any homogayness.

During command training, Kirk experienced the Kobayashi Maru scenario a simulation used to evaluate a student’s reactions to a “no-win” battle and rescue situation. Kirk had two defeats, but before his third attempt, Kirk reprogrammed the simulation computer, consequently becoming the only cadet in Academy history to beat the “no-win” scenario, and earned a commendation for original thinking.

Friday, March 28, 2014

Another Miami Zombie Attack, How Much Did Obama & CDC Know?

As Miami suffers through a Second Zombie Attack, America has to ask ‘How much did Obama and the Center for Disease Control (CDC) know? When did they know and why didn’t they tell us of the very real danger’?

That’s right. As you read just days ago the zombie plague has spread across America. But now it is being reported that there is another attack at the “ground zero” of the new pandemic. Yesterday, Brandon DeLeon, a North Miami Beach man, walked into a Boston Market and started cursing at two North Miami Beach police officers who were eating at the restaurant.

Once in jail, he growled at officers, banged his head repeatedly on the holding cell, and tried to bite one officers hand. Officers believe he was under the influence of a synthetic drug, such as Bath Salts.

This led officers to post a bulletin warning: 
“While at the holding cell, DeLeon banged his head repeatedly inside the holding cell. DeLeon growled at officers in the booking area like a rabid dog. DeLeon attempted to bite Officer Ruiz’s hand off…It was later discovered DeLeon had taken a synthetic drug named Cloud 9. This bears resemblance to the incident that occurred in the City of Miami last week when a male ate another man’s face. Please be careful when dealing with our homeless population during your patrols.”

Bath Salt Zombie Apocalpse: New Attacks in Atlanta & China

Up until now the Zombie Apocalpyse has been in other places. It is always easy to ignore it when it isn’t on your door step. But now it is on my door step.

That’s right. On June 14th Lilburn Police (a suburb of Atlanta) were called to a local golf driving range where a crazy man, Karl Laventure, 21, was running around with a golf club. 

Police Officer Ross Hancock, of the Gwinett County Police was the first to arrive at the Atlanta Golf Center on Beaver Ruin Road. He said Laventure was running all around the range, through a nearby pond, half naked, out of his mind. Hancock’s partner first pulled his pepper spray. Hancock said of the zombie, “He didn’t even wipe his eyes, he just kept them open.”
That’s when the officer pulled out his Taser and the zombie went down, but then got right back up! ”We had to Tase him approximately five more times on scene to get him down. It took several officers to hold him down to get him cuffed.” Hancock adds.

In a video of the incident, the zombie Laventure screams: “I’m'a eat you. Four. Four. Oh God. Don’t make me eat you.” 
To see FOX 5 video click here:
golf zombie
Karl Laventure the Golfing Zombie

I bet you socialism loving foreigners are sitting back laughing at zombies trying to eat us good God fearing Americans, but don’t fret. They are coming for you too. Here is an incident from China!

The Daily Mail is reporting that a Chinaman bus driver was drinking and probably eating dog meat, with friends during lunch in the city of Wenzhou in southeast China when suddenly he ran into the streets. He viciously attacked a random woman, and began eating her face until people pulled him off of her.

The zombie attacker was hauled off by police, and the poor woman was rushed to a hospital, where she is undergoing surgery to repair her nose and lips.

chinese zombie
Chinese Zombie Attacker was named Dong.

Make no mistake people. This is the end of days. In my 83 years I have never seen such as this, stock up on your bibles and ammo now!                                               

Miami Bath Salt Zombies Continue to Spread Across Nation. Reports on Rise

Since I first broke the news of the impending Zombie Apocalypse that is being fueled by Miami Bath Salt and Sodomy, I have been inundated with reports of other zombie attacks from around the nation. I have been just as amazed by people that are more interested in complaining about how sodomy has nothing to do with this apocalypse. These Liberal Atheist Sodomites (LAS) will see how right I am when they are being sodomized by a homogay zombie while having their brains eatten from their still living body.

The simple fact is that sodomy is a horrible sin. So horrible that God himself calls it an ABOMINATION. This act along with the consumption of bath salt LSD cocaine turns these people into walking living abominations. We are in the end times people! Even the Obama Administrations, Centers for Disease Control (CDC) is telling us to prepare for the Zombie Apocalypse!

Second Zombie Attack in Texas, Zombie Plague Spreads.

This is real people, can there be any doubt now? There has been a second Zombie Attack in Texas. The bath salt Induced Sodomy Zombie Plague that I told you about yesterday has spread.
Texas zombie
Scene of the zombie attack, a Mexican mother eats her child's brain still lives
after stabbed in the chest and throat cut.

Miami Bath Salts Lead to Sodomy Induced Zombie Apocalypse

May 29, 2012 - On Friday the police responded to the 911 call that two naked men were fighting on a bike path along the Causeway, which was packed with traffic for Memorial Day weekend. The fight was taking place at the causeway exit near the Miami Herald building, which had a security cam recording that you saw yesterday on Adam Nelsons article.

When the police officer finally responded around 2 pm he found a naked man lying on top of the other naked man eating his face. The officer saw what the man was doing, and ordered him to stop. The man growled at the officer, and then returned to eating the victims face, mainly his victim’s nose and eyeballs. The officer then used his service weapon and shot the man, but the gunshot had no effect. Other sources confirmed that the man refused to obey, and continued his attack.

The surveillance video from The Herald shows two men lying nude and partially obscured by the MetroMover track. One man is motionless, but the other, presumably the man whose face was attacked, can be seen flailing his legs in pain. Although the attacker had been shot and the obvious pain the victim must have been in, to have his nose, eyes and face eaten, the paramedics were not seen attempting to rescue him. Probably because they knew that he was infected with the zombie plague and was now a carrier and would soon turn himself.

CDC admits Zombies are Real

Fox News reports that the Center for Disease Control (CDC) has posted a preparedness blog on their website warning Americans of what to do in case of the Zombie Apocalypse. It is entitled “Preparedness 101: Zombie Apocalypse” and is written by Assistant Surgeon General Ali Khan and instructs readers to stock up on food and water, as well as first aid supplies. It was also posted on their facebook page.
The report states:
“If zombies did start roaming the streets, CDC would conduct an investigation much like any other disease outbreak. CDC would provide technical assistance to cities, states, or international partners dealing with a zombie infestation.
This assistance might include consultation, lab testing and analysis, patient management and care, tracking of contacts, and infection control (including isolation and quarantine).
It’s likely that an investigation of this scenario would seek to accomplish several goals: determine the cause of the illness, the source of the infection/virus/toxin, learn how it is transmitted and how readily it is spread, how to break the cycle of transmission and thus prevent further cases, and how patients can best be treated.”

Wednesday, March 12, 2014

Short Grandma Hair is a SIN!!!

Over the years I have noticed that many of my fellow grandma’s have cropped off their hair for more easy to maintain short hair styles. But every time I see it it really ruffles my feathers. When we grew up we were told that women were to have long hair. Now these aged hussies have decided that tradition is no longer worth having. I maintain that this is not only an insult to tradition, teaching younger women that it it ok to look like men, but is also a sin.

The apostle Paul tells us in 1 Corinthians 11:3–15:
But I want you to understand that the head of every man is Christ, the head of a wife1 is her husband, and the head of Christ is God. 4 Every man who prays or prophesies with his head covered dishonors his head, 5 but every wife2 who prays or prophesies with her head uncovered dishonors her head, since it is the same as if her head were shaven. 6 For if a wife will not cover her head, then she should cut her hair short. But since it is disgraceful for a wife to cut off her hair or shave her head, let her cover her head. 7 For a man ought not to cover his head, since he is the image and glory of God, but woman is the glory of man. 8 For man was not made from woman, but woman from man. 9 Neither was man created for woman, but woman for man. 10 That is why a wife ought to have a symbol of authority on her head, because of the angels.3 11 Nevertheless, in the Lord woman is not independent of man nor man of woman; 12 for as woman was made from man, so man is now born of woman. And all things are from God. 13 Judge for yourselves: is it proper for a wife to pray to God with her head uncovered? 14 Does not nature itself teach you that if a man wears long hair it is a disgrace for him, 15 but if a woman has long hair, it is her glory? For her hair is given to her for a covering.

Lolcats distroying American one feline at a time

Many articles on Christwire as of late have told us of the dangers of cat ownership including:

British Gypsy Whorelots Infect American TV

A new show called “My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding” has spread like gonorrhea at a homogay convention, from the BBC’s Channel 4 to the expecting American Airwaves of TLC. This vile filth follows a family of gypsies that are marrying off their sinful underage daughter to a similarly sinful male gypsy. In each episode we see the young gypsy girls dressed as common whorelots.

As you can see from an early age they teach the girls to be sluts.

Friday, January 17, 2014

Do Christians Have the Largest Penis?

Do Christians have the largest Member? What has happened to the size of the typical American Phallus?

Every since Eve committed the original sin man has asked “Is my penis big enough?” And since then every women has replied “It’s not how big it is but how you use it.” Well I am here to tell you that women are liars. Just like Eve, we can not fight the urge to eat an apple, take life advice from reptiles, and lie to you about your penis size.

Now as a good christian woman, the only man I have ever had sex with was my dearly departed husband. Luckily for me, he didn’t have any problems with his member. Because of this we had 53 wonderful years and 8 children together. I have noticed over the years that Christian women never complain about their husbands manhood. The only women to complain are non-christian women.

Thursday, January 16, 2014

Wedding Pics from Bruce and Claires Wedding

I just got the wedding pictures that I took with my Kodak 7600 back from CVS. I hate to post pictures before the lovely couple do, but I know that there has been so much controversy here about the couple that I had to post them.

Here is an image of the lovely couple at the wedding rehearsal.

Velma: Great Fictional American Hero


Velma Lilly Dinkley is the brains behind the Scooby Doo gang. If you watched cartoons from 1969 to the present then you are well aware that the scooby doo gang is a rag tag group of meddlesome teens who go around solving mysteries of the occult, instead of being motorcycle riding rough scallions or worse inner city thugs.

You are most likely also aware that the group is comprised of members of every un-christian and un-American bunch you can think of. There is Fred the ascot wearing, butt sex loving homosexual who is the leader of the group. His prized whorelot Daphne who is an ex cheerleader/sorority girl/stripper. And the duo of dirty hippies Shaggy who is obviously perpetually stoned on marijuana and Chrystal Meth; and his faithful but equally doomed to sin companion, Great Dane Scooby Doo. Scooby is a talking dog that is only understood by Shaggy, which is an obvious allusion to Shaggy tripping on mushrooms. The Show often reveals the duo to have the munchies.

But the heart of this sin treat of a show is revealed to be one true warrior of christ…VELMA!!!

Your Guide to Planning to be Raped

Nearly 90,000 people reported being raped in the United States in 2008. There is an arrest rate of 25%. Do you have a vagina? Well You should plan to have it violated.

All men are possible rapists.
Yesterday the lovely Blanche Beecham told us of how the very wonderful christian man and Kansas State Rep. Pete DeGraaf (R) wrinkled the hairy armpits of lesbians and feminists of that state. Today the vengeful hate has spread across the internet from his statements that women should prepare to be raped by himself and any other man out there.

This reminded me that Men are very dangerous creatures, atleast those who are not true Christians. It also got me to thinking… how does one prepare yourself to be raped?

As a woman in her 80′s, I luckily have never been raped as I have never dressed slutily or allowed unchristian men within sins distance of me. Because of this I have never put much thought into what I would do if I were raped. It is a horrible thought really. But thanks to Mr. DeGraaf, I have prepared my lady bits to be ravaged by a stranger; and I am going to tell you how I did it!

Wednesday, January 8, 2014

3D Porn makes woman PREGNANT

May 27, 2011 - I came across this rather disturbing story and thought I would share.
A white Rexburg, Idaho woman who had a black baby claims she fell pregnant while watching a porn movie in 3D. According to reports, the child’s father , who is white was serving in the military in Iraq when she became pregnant.
His wife Jennifer told him the child was conceived while watching a porn movie in 3D. “I see it as suspicious. The films in 3-D are very real. With today’s technology, anything is possible “he said.
Jennifer claimed she went to watch a porn film with her friends in New York and doesn’t usually watch porn movies because of her Religion, and that she went to watch it to experience the effects of 3D. Jennifer says the child looks like the black actor in the movie. “A month after watching the movie, I started feeling dizzy and the results were positive.” she said.
Jennifer admits her marriage could be in trouble. “Even though my husband believed in me, my marriage could be at risk. But he knows I’m faithful” she said.
VIA ryanslist.net

WoW: World of Whorecraft

April 2018 Update: Google has threatened to take away my precious ads, because they are offended that I am exposing sin such as this. Google is a hell pit, and I am an elderly lady on a fixed income of only a couple million dollars a year. Stupid liberal commie emos.

May 27, 2011 -
Even if you don’t play it, you have heard of it. Even worse one of your friends or maybe even a child has fallen victim to it’s evil stranglehold. It is marketed as a fantasy game where you play online with characters of Elves, Orks, and Trolls. But my research has uncovered the deep dark secret to World of Warcraft(also referred to as WoW)…and it’s PORNOGRAPHY!!!

Many Christians know that the word “fantasy” often means sex and every one knows what “Role Play” is. It is dressing up like a police officer and beating your partners behind like it was a minority!
With “code words” like that actively being used to describe the game it is no wonder that use of said game has led to such vile and disgusting images as these below.

WARNING:as usual all women and children should be asked to leave the room before viewing any of these images. I can not be held responsible for the eternal souls of weak individuals

Attack of the Satan Scepter during Swimsuit Sin Season

May 26, 2011 - Yesterday I reported how I warned my grandson and others of the vile flesh revealing swimsuit whores.

Member and dirty whorelot Claire, as well as Reverend S. Mutt urged me to make a version for women. Well, today it is time to reveal the dangers of the hung incubus who tempt moral women and less than straight men and boys into the homogay agenda.


Average Joe

This guy is just like every other man out there. Desparate to get inside your warm inviting sin sack. You may think he is a nice guy, with a cute smile but beware. He is at the party for only one reason. SIN!

Sunday, January 5, 2014

Sodomizer Bishop Eddie Long Gets Off Easy.

For a long time know Homo-Gays have been infiltrating the church, and getting caught with their pants down and their sin sticks in the fleshy backsides of children. Homosexuality is bad enough but when it is perpetrated on a child it is beyond sick and depraved.

One of these sick homogay bastards is Baptist Church Bishop Eddie Long of the New Birth Missionary in LITHONIA, Ga, which is a suburb of Atlanta.

Long had been accused of sexual misconduct by four young men whom he mentored. He denied the allegations brought by Jamal Parris, Maurice Robinson and Anthony Flagg, Spencer LeGrande.

Eric Cartman: Great Fictional American Hero

Eric Cartman is the star of the Comedy Central show South Park. He is a dear innocent child growing up with his more sinful and liberal friends: Kyle, Stan, kenny, and Butters.
Cartman is a big boned fourth-grader living with his mom in the town of South Park, Colorado, where he has wonderful adventures not typical of conventional small-town life. We watch as he perseveres through these adventures, to maintain his strong christian identity.

Cartman is one of the most popular characters on the show, and has remained one of the most recognizable television characters ever since South Park became a hit during its first season. Parker and Stone describe the character as “a little Archie Bunker”, and state that he is their favorite character, and the one with whom they most identify. During its fifteen seasons, South Park has received both praise and criticism for Cartman’s tendency to be politically incorrect and shockingly profane. Prominent publications and television channels have included Cartman on their lists of the most iconic television and cartoon characters of all time.
via wikipedia

Breast Reduction: Throwing Away God’s Gifts

June 7, 2011 - This Sunday’s ladies Bible Study class was on “Appreciating the gifts that god has given you”. After church one of the younger women came up to me to ask a few questions. Jessica is a sweet girl in her early 20′s, and is a good righteous Christian, She is single at the moment and will one day make a Christian man a wonderful wife.

Jessica at last years trip to white water
She explained to me that she was well aware that we should accept and be appreciative of the gifts that God has bestowed upon us, but was worried that one of her gifts had brought undue attention to her. It seems as if God has bestowed her with a very ample bosom. She went on to explain that since she had started to “develop” at the age of 12, boys have made cruel jokes and comments to her and about her, that some of the less godly had tried to touch her inappropriately in her teens, and that as a young adult it seems that men only want to date her because of her chest. She has had trouble finding a man that wants more than to just fornicate with her, and is afraid that she is unknowingly leading them to committing self fornication with their rigid sin sticks, at the thought and imagination of her bountiful bosom. Then she dropped the bomb…she was considering Breast Reduction and wondered if god would find it OK.

I knew that Jessica had been blessed but I was surprised to find that she could no longer buy braziers in normal stores as her heaving breasts had become too gargantuan for a typical bra to hold them. I have to admit that I was rather shocked. As a woman of ample breast size myself…well, atleast in my youth…it’s funny what gravity does to the old girls with time, but I digress. I told her that I knew some of the pain that she had experienced. But I told her that I finally found the right man for me, a good man, a Christian man who kept his marauding hands to himself until our wedding night (and then every Monday, Thursday and occasional Saturday for over 50 years).