Friday, January 17, 2014

Do Christians Have the Largest Penis?

Do Christians have the largest Member? What has happened to the size of the typical American Phallus?

Every since Eve committed the original sin man has asked “Is my penis big enough?” And since then every women has replied “It’s not how big it is but how you use it.” Well I am here to tell you that women are liars. Just like Eve, we can not fight the urge to eat an apple, take life advice from reptiles, and lie to you about your penis size.

Now as a good christian woman, the only man I have ever had sex with was my dearly departed husband. Luckily for me, he didn’t have any problems with his member. Because of this we had 53 wonderful years and 8 children together. I have noticed over the years that Christian women never complain about their husbands manhood. The only women to complain are non-christian women.

Thursday, January 16, 2014

Wedding Pics from Bruce and Claires Wedding

I just got the wedding pictures that I took with my Kodak 7600 back from CVS. I hate to post pictures before the lovely couple do, but I know that there has been so much controversy here about the couple that I had to post them.

Here is an image of the lovely couple at the wedding rehearsal.


Velma: Great Fictional American Hero

BACKGROUND

Velma Lilly Dinkley is the brains behind the Scooby Doo gang. If you watched cartoons from 1969 to the present then you are well aware that the scooby doo gang is a rag tag group of meddlesome teens who go around solving mysteries of the occult, instead of being motorcycle riding rough scallions or worse inner city thugs.

You are most likely also aware that the group is comprised of members of every un-christian and un-American bunch you can think of. There is Fred the ascot wearing, butt sex loving homosexual who is the leader of the group. His prized whorelot Daphne who is an ex cheerleader/sorority girl/stripper. And the duo of dirty hippies Shaggy who is obviously perpetually stoned on marijuana and Chrystal Meth; and his faithful but equally doomed to sin companion, Great Dane Scooby Doo. Scooby is a talking dog that is only understood by Shaggy, which is an obvious allusion to Shaggy tripping on mushrooms. The Show often reveals the duo to have the munchies.

But the heart of this sin treat of a show is revealed to be one true warrior of christ…VELMA!!!

Your Guide to Planning to be Raped





Nearly 90,000 people reported being raped in the United States in 2008. There is an arrest rate of 25%. Do you have a vagina? Well You should plan to have it violated.


All men are possible rapists.
Yesterday the lovely Blanche Beecham told us of how the very wonderful christian man and Kansas State Rep. Pete DeGraaf (R) wrinkled the hairy armpits of lesbians and feminists of that state. Today the vengeful hate has spread across the internet from his statements that women should prepare to be raped by himself and any other man out there.

This reminded me that Men are very dangerous creatures, atleast those who are not true Christians. It also got me to thinking… how does one prepare yourself to be raped?

As a woman in her 80′s, I luckily have never been raped as I have never dressed slutily or allowed unchristian men within sins distance of me. Because of this I have never put much thought into what I would do if I were raped. It is a horrible thought really. But thanks to Mr. DeGraaf, I have prepared my lady bits to be ravaged by a stranger; and I am going to tell you how I did it!

Wednesday, January 8, 2014

3D Porn makes woman PREGNANT

May 27, 2011 - I came across this rather disturbing story and thought I would share.
A white Rexburg, Idaho woman who had a black baby claims she fell pregnant while watching a porn movie in 3D. According to reports, the child’s father , who is white was serving in the military in Iraq when she became pregnant.
His wife Jennifer told him the child was conceived while watching a porn movie in 3D. “I see it as suspicious. The films in 3-D are very real. With today’s technology, anything is possible “he said.
Jennifer claimed she went to watch a porn film with her friends in New York and doesn’t usually watch porn movies because of her Religion, and that she went to watch it to experience the effects of 3D. Jennifer says the child looks like the black actor in the movie. “A month after watching the movie, I started feeling dizzy and the results were positive.” she said.
Jennifer admits her marriage could be in trouble. “Even though my husband believed in me, my marriage could be at risk. But he knows I’m faithful” she said.
VIA ryanslist.net

WoW: World of Whorecraft

May 27, 2011 - Even if you don’t play it, you have heard of it. Even worse one of your friends or maybe even a child has fallen victim to it’s evil stranglehold. It is marketed as a fantasy game where you play online with characters of Elves, Orks, and Trolls. But my research has uncovered the deep dark secret to World of Warcraft(also referred to as WoW)…and it’s PORNOGRAPHY!!!

Many Christians know that the word “fantasy” often means sex and every one knows what “Role Play” is. It is dressing up like a police officer and beating your partners behind like it was a minority!
With “code words” like that actively being used to describe the game it is no wonder that use of said game has led to such vile and disgusting images as these below.

WARNING:as usual all women and children should be asked to leave the room before viewing any of these images. I can not be held responsible for the eternal souls of weak individuals

Attack of the Satan Scepter during Swimsuit Sin Season

May 26, 2011 - Yesterday I reported how I warned my grandson and others of the vile flesh revealing swimsuit whores.

Member and dirty whorelot Claire, as well as Reverend S. Mutt urged me to make a version for women. Well, today it is time to reveal the dangers of the hung incubus who tempt moral women and less than straight men and boys into the homogay agenda.

WARNING
SOME IMAGES WILL BE DISTURBING! PLEASE ASK ALL WOMEN (UNDER THE AGE OF 65) AND CHILDREN (under the age of 26) TO LEAVE THE ROOM!!!

Average Joe

This guy is just like every other man out there. Desparate to get inside your warm inviting sin sack. You may think he is a nice guy, with a cute smile but beware. He is at the party for only one reason. SIN!

Sunday, January 5, 2014

Sodomizer Bishop Eddie Long Gets Off Easy.

For a long time know Homo-Gays have been infiltrating the church, and getting caught with their pants down and their sin sticks in the fleshy backsides of children. Homosexuality is bad enough but when it is perpetrated on a child it is beyond sick and depraved.

One of these sick homogay bastards is Baptist Church Bishop Eddie Long of the New Birth Missionary in LITHONIA, Ga, which is a suburb of Atlanta.

Long had been accused of sexual misconduct by four young men whom he mentored. He denied the allegations brought by Jamal Parris, Maurice Robinson and Anthony Flagg, Spencer LeGrande.

Eric Cartman: Great Fictional American Hero



Eric Cartman is the star of the Comedy Central show South Park. He is a dear innocent child growing up with his more sinful and liberal friends: Kyle, Stan, kenny, and Butters.
Cartman is a big boned fourth-grader living with his mom in the town of South Park, Colorado, where he has wonderful adventures not typical of conventional small-town life. We watch as he perseveres through these adventures, to maintain his strong christian identity.

Cartman is one of the most popular characters on the show, and has remained one of the most recognizable television characters ever since South Park became a hit during its first season. Parker and Stone describe the character as “a little Archie Bunker”, and state that he is their favorite character, and the one with whom they most identify. During its fifteen seasons, South Park has received both praise and criticism for Cartman’s tendency to be politically incorrect and shockingly profane. Prominent publications and television channels have included Cartman on their lists of the most iconic television and cartoon characters of all time.
via wikipedia

Breast Reduction: Throwing Away God’s Gifts


June 7, 2011 - This Sunday’s ladies Bible Study class was on “Appreciating the gifts that god has given you”. After church one of the younger women came up to me to ask a few questions. Jessica is a sweet girl in her early 20′s, and is a good righteous Christian, She is single at the moment and will one day make a Christian man a wonderful wife.

Jessica at last years trip to white water
She explained to me that she was well aware that we should accept and be appreciative of the gifts that God has bestowed upon us, but was worried that one of her gifts had brought undue attention to her. It seems as if God has bestowed her with a very ample bosom. She went on to explain that since she had started to “develop” at the age of 12, boys have made cruel jokes and comments to her and about her, that some of the less godly had tried to touch her inappropriately in her teens, and that as a young adult it seems that men only want to date her because of her chest. She has had trouble finding a man that wants more than to just fornicate with her, and is afraid that she is unknowingly leading them to committing self fornication with their rigid sin sticks, at the thought and imagination of her bountiful bosom. Then she dropped the bomb…she was considering Breast Reduction and wondered if god would find it OK.


I knew that Jessica had been blessed but I was surprised to find that she could no longer buy braziers in normal stores as her heaving breasts had become too gargantuan for a typical bra to hold them. I have to admit that I was rather shocked. As a woman of ample breast size myself…well, atleast in my youth…it’s funny what gravity does to the old girls with time, but I digress. I told her that I knew some of the pain that she had experienced. But I told her that I finally found the right man for me, a good man, a Christian man who kept his marauding hands to himself until our wedding night (and then every Monday, Thursday and occasional Saturday for over 50 years).