Monday, June 26, 2017

Optimus Prime Disgusted by Transformers 5 Refuses to Star Again

Optimus Prime laments his starring role.
I recently had time to talk to some of the stars of the new Transformers movie at the recent premiere of the movie in Atlanta Ga, where parts of the motion picture was filmed. There was that Marky Mark guy that makes hamburgers on TV. There was also the whorelot that stars in the movie too. Anthony Hopkins was sort of there. But he was drunk and mumbling about ruining his career. But the most "realist" and most interesting person there was Optimus Prime.

Optimus Prime has been staring in TV and movies for the franchise which is based off of Hasbro toys for over 30 years. But Mr. Prime revealed to me that he will not return after watching the latest movie.

"I am disgusted. Michael Bay has ruined this. I have been a hero to generations of children. But what am I now? What am I now?" asked Optimus Prime. "I've been letting it go. Put up with so much. Hasbro just keeps throwing money at us. What was I supposed to do?"

Sunday, May 7, 2017

Is It Time To Invade France To Bring Them Freedom?

"Say Goodbye France, I'm going to ruin everything "
If you keep up with international news then you have probably heard that France has elected a new president. France is a country that has seen it's fair share of Islamic terrorism in the last few years, as more and more Muslims are allowed into their country. In fact there are large tracts of cities in France where the police and military do not go because they are their own little terrorist countries in the larger nation of France, and ruled by Sharia Law.

So did they elect the candidate that wanted to stop the Muslim invasion of their country? No. They elected a giant liberal cuck named Macron, an even larger cuck than Justin Trudeau, the some how elected leader of Canada.

Macron is such a little cuck that at the age of 15 he was seduced and became a victim of his sexual predator teacher. He was only 15-years-old when he was in a school play directed by Brigitte Trogneux, who was 24 years older than him. A few years later he married the sexual predator. This is the type of loser that is now going to rule France for 5 years.

Monday, May 1, 2017

Xenu's Christian Movie Review: Guardian of The Galaxy Vol. 2

As many of you know I often get asked by my local movie theatre to come down and watch new movies before they are released to the normal folks. So last week they asked me if I would like to watch Guardian of the Galaxy. Thinking that the movie was about our Lord and Savior, I went down to give it a try.

It was NOT about Jesus Christ our Lord and savior. It was about some pudgy faced idiot traipsing around wearing a red leather jacket like he was in the matrix movies. This idiot calls himself "Star Lord" which by the way is a direct affront to our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ who is the one and only Star Lord. This moron runs around the galaxy in a spaceship full of freaks and causes mayhem and then tries to fix what he has broken.

Let me be honest. I didn't watch the whole movie. I fell asleep. It was that bad.

Wednesday, April 19, 2017

Trump Appoints Dennis Rodman Ambassador To North Korea

President Donald Trump announced today that he will be appointing Basketball player Dennis Rodman to be the U.S. Ambassador to North Korea.

Relations between the two countries have been very cold for years, with rhetoric on both sides being heightened lately, Trump took the opportunity to promote the once star player and no stranger to Pyongyang to help ease tensions.

Rodman has actually been to the communist countries several times as a guest of the North Korean leader who is a huge fan of basketball.

It is not as surprising for Trump to choose Rodman as one might think. Trump has become known for promoting his supporters, and Rodman endorsed Trump's candidacy in 2015.

Monday, April 17, 2017

Atlanta Portal To Hell Opens on I20

If you have been following the news at all then you know that some mighty interesting things have been happening in my once grand city of Atlanta lately.

First some dirty homeless crack heads burned down a whole interstate. Then The next weekend a 3 truck crash shut down another interstate spilling poisons all over the place. The week after that a railroad bridge caught fire. AND now finally a portal to hell it's self has opened up on I20.

That's right. A portal to hell. That idiot muslem mayor Kassim Reed and his lap spokes dogs will tell you it was a gas leak. I even heard that a truck some how did it this morning. Right.

Monday, February 6, 2017

God Hates Tom Brady: How A Patriot Sold His Soul To The Devil

I was born in 1930 In Atlanta. I have seen many things in my life. But what I saw Sunday night took the cake. The Atlanta Falcon’s with God himself on their side were laying holy waste to the disgusting deceptive New England Patriots. As if any Yankee northerner could ever be a patriot to this great God fearing nation. The score was 28 to 3. The Falcons were winning with God the mighty Jehovah on their side. But then something happened.

Thursday, July 30, 2015

Does Sodomy Fuel Dentists Murderous Rampage?

 This weekend the world learned that some worthless scumbag had illegally lured Cecil The Lion from a protected reserve in Zimbabwe and shot him. Over the next few days it was reveled that an American dentist had paid $55,000 to two locals that lured the endangered animal from the reserve by dragging a dead animal carcass from the reserve to just outside of the reserve so that the rich American dentist could shoot the animal.

Walter J. Palmer, a dentist in Bloomington, Minnesota shot the endangered lion with a bow and arrow, then spend the next 40 hours tracking the poor injured beast before finally killing it with a gunshot. They then skinned it and hacked it's head off. But only after trying unsuccessfully to cover their tracks by attempting to destroy the animals tracking device.

Look how close he is to his Butt Buddy.
Luckily for justice, officials found the tracking device and soon arrested the two men that served as "guides" for the dentist. While of course he escaped the country back to America.

This is not the first time that Palmer has been in trouble for murdering an animal that he shouldn't have. He pleaded guilty to a license violation after shooting a black bear in Wisconsin in 2008. At that time he shot the bear in a restricted area. Sound familiar?

So what could drive a wealthy man to to waste $55,000 on killing an animal? Most dentists with that kind of money just buy a Porsche to show that they are having a mid life crisis, but this horrible excuse for a human has to go around the world murdering God's defenseless endangered animals?

There is only one excuse for why someone would do something so disgusting.

Palmer and his unknown Butt Buddy take the animal from behind.

That's right. If you look at all of the pictures of this man he is with another man. In the gay culture these people are what's called "butt buddies".

The bible  tells us that sodomy is against nature. What could be more against nature than flying to another country to kill an animal that is almost extinct? The bible tells us that sodomy is vile. Can we not all agree that killing an animal that is almost extinct is vile? Just look at Dr. Walter J. Palmer sitting there smiling over the dead corpses of Gods greatest creatures, that he has just murdered, while holding the hands of his many sodomy sex partners.

What a disgusting human being.
I bet he even rapes the dead animals after he has sodomized his butt buddies.

Thursday, April 30, 2015

Taking The Piss: Australia's Sick Fascination With Drinking Urine

You've probably seen an "Aussie" somewhere online asking if you are "taking the piss", if you are
like me you have been equally horrified and disgusted that some one would ask you such as horrible question. Of course I am not stealing your urine! My God, Jesus Christ up in heaven, why would I even want it?

So why do Australians have this sickening fetish for having their urine stolen? It's taken me months of research but I have finally nailed it down.It all starts back in 1826.

As the HMS Washforth was sailing to supply a settlement on the Tasmanian coast a typhoon caught them. during the storm the sails were ripped from the masts, then the masts were torn for the rest of the ship. Miraculously the ship and it's crew survived the storm.

The Devil Down Under: Why God Hates Australia Day

From time to time everyone gets a little voice in their head that tells them to do something. If you are a good and decent person then you know that is the voice of the Lord speaking to you. Recently I heard that voice. It was the voice of Jesus Christ himself telling me how much he hates the Pacific Island Nation of Australia. He wanted me to share with you and the world why he felt this way. For most of us as Americans, what we know about Australia comes from Outback Steak House or Movies. So lets take a moment to see why God is so upset with them. If you doubt that they are inspired by the devil all you have to do is turn to their favorite condiment. What kind of person would eat Vegemite? Here are 12 reasons that You and God should hate Australia

A Sad History:
God made the earth for man. Unfortunately due to a design flaw he put Australia to far away from the bible Land to be settled by decent Christian people first. The first two legged creatures to make it to Australia were highly developed monkeys known as Neanderthals. Many supposedly educated evolutionists consider these creatures to be human, but one look will tell you they are nothing like us. These apes still inhabit Australia and are now known as Aboriginese. For people from the American continents the Aboriginese are the Indians of Australia.

Black Baltimore Mom Makes Beating Children Popular Again

"Spare the rod, Spoil the child"
-The Bible

It is simple. Children are born idiots and you have to raise them right, to not be idiots. Most children
are not smart enough to understand without beating them. When you don't beat your children they  remain idiots. Worse, they grow up to be idiots.
Mother of the Year. Hero. Baltimore's next Mayor.

The problem happened in the 1960's with those filthy hippies with their free love and doing drugs and listening to Jimmy Hendrix instead of raising their children. That generation of idiots raised a generation of idiots and then that generation is raising the current generation of morons that we have running around, listening to Black Veal Brides and Ludacrist and that Justin Beaver. They are cutting school, theirselves, and burning cop cars and throwing bricks at cop cars.