Wednesday, April 2, 2014

Reverse Christian Cowgirl: A New Marital Position


Last week I wrote an article entitled “Is Doggy style acceptible for Christian woman?” that revealed to Christian women that there were no biblical restrictions on sexual positions within marriage. Since then I have been inundated by questions from women at my church and by emails from women on Christwire and on my facebook page, wanting to know about what other sexual positions might be available to them. I have told them that with the


exception of homogay anal sodomy, that anything within their imagination is free game. But Still I am asked to inform them about particular positions. I am very hesitant to do this as I do not wish to become the Dr. Ruth of Christwire. But I keep getting questioned and emailed constantly.

I have finally relented. I asked around to some of the married women and to some of my grand daughters whorelot friends, and have even visited some very dubious internet websites. I found one online that sounded rather wholesome with a wonderful name: Reverse Cowgirl, also known as RCG. It seems to be related to the cowgirl position, which simply is the woman on top of the man, but in this case turned facing away from the man, as if to hide her shame.


Many christian men may find this position a turn off as it gives the “power” to the woman. It also typically gives more pleasure to the woman. In this position the woman has greater control over the extent and duration of the penetration. The woman faces away from the man. She can either be in a kneeling or squatting position and can have her torso upright, or she can have it aligned with the inserting man’s body. It serves to stimulate the most sensitive parts of the man’s sin stick as a result of the way it is forced to bend while at the same time rubbing on the female G-spot and naughty nub simultaneously.

Features of the reverse cowgirl position:
* penetration is quite deep
* the woman can control the depth and intensity of penetration, and enjoy the dominant feeling of being in control
* some men enjoy the submissive feeling of being on the bottom


Disadvantages of the reverse cowgirl position:
* neither partner can see the other well
* caressing is difficult
* some women find supporting their weight on their arms hard



Since the sin stick is bent downwards in this position, care needs to be taken in this position, to avoid damage to it, particularly if it slips out during naughty time.
I recommend that if you enjoy this position, but feel dirty for participating in a position other than the traditional missionary may I suggest the Reverse Christian Cowgirl, which as your doing RCG you pray to god…“OH God, Oh God, Praise be unto Jesus!”
Amen.

Tuesday, April 1, 2014

New Camaro Turning Grannies Into Loose Sluts

May 31, 2011 -
I can’t believe that General Motors would be encouraging such a despicable thing as this:

Monday, March 31, 2014

James Tiberius Kirk: Great Fictional American Hero





Although many Christwire articles cite Star Trek as a cesspit if inequity there is one bright shining star of American Morality on the horizon.


James Tiberius “Jim” Kirk also known as Captain Kirk, was born and raised in Riverside, Iowa on 22 March 2233. In 2250, he started his training at Starfleet Academy in San Francisco. Luckily in the 200 years from now San Francisco has been cleaned of much of the filth that inhabits it now. It is certain that he did not succumb to any homogayness.

During command training, Kirk experienced the Kobayashi Maru scenario a simulation used to evaluate a student’s reactions to a “no-win” battle and rescue situation. Kirk had two defeats, but before his third attempt, Kirk reprogrammed the simulation computer, consequently becoming the only cadet in Academy history to beat the “no-win” scenario, and earned a commendation for original thinking.

Friday, March 28, 2014

Another Miami Zombie Attack, How Much Did Obama & CDC Know?

As Miami suffers through a Second Zombie Attack, America has to ask ‘How much did Obama and the Center for Disease Control (CDC) know? When did they know and why didn’t they tell us of the very real danger’?

That’s right. As you read just days ago the zombie plague has spread across America. But now it is being reported that there is another attack at the “ground zero” of the new pandemic. Yesterday, Brandon DeLeon, a North Miami Beach man, walked into a Boston Market and started cursing at two North Miami Beach police officers who were eating at the restaurant.

MIAMI ZOMBIES
Once in jail, he growled at officers, banged his head repeatedly on the holding cell, and tried to bite one officers hand. Officers believe he was under the influence of a synthetic drug, such as Bath Salts.

This led officers to post a bulletin warning: 
“While at the holding cell, DeLeon banged his head repeatedly inside the holding cell. DeLeon growled at officers in the booking area like a rabid dog. DeLeon attempted to bite Officer Ruiz’s hand off…It was later discovered DeLeon had taken a synthetic drug named Cloud 9. This bears resemblance to the incident that occurred in the City of Miami last week when a male ate another man’s face. Please be careful when dealing with our homeless population during your patrols.”

Bath Salt Zombie Apocalpse: New Attacks in Atlanta & China

Up until now the Zombie Apocalpyse has been in other places. It is always easy to ignore it when it isn’t on your door step. But now it is on my door step.

That’s right. On June 14th Lilburn Police (a suburb of Atlanta) were called to a local golf driving range where a crazy man, Karl Laventure, 21, was running around with a golf club. 

Police Officer Ross Hancock, of the Gwinett County Police was the first to arrive at the Atlanta Golf Center on Beaver Ruin Road. He said Laventure was running all around the range, through a nearby pond, half naked, out of his mind. Hancock’s partner first pulled his pepper spray. Hancock said of the zombie, “He didn’t even wipe his eyes, he just kept them open.”
That’s when the officer pulled out his Taser and the zombie went down, but then got right back up! ”We had to Tase him approximately five more times on scene to get him down. It took several officers to hold him down to get him cuffed.” Hancock adds.

In a video of the incident, the zombie Laventure screams: “I’m'a eat you. Four. Four. Oh God. Don’t make me eat you.” 
To see FOX 5 video click here:
golf zombie
Karl Laventure the Golfing Zombie

I bet you socialism loving foreigners are sitting back laughing at zombies trying to eat us good God fearing Americans, but don’t fret. They are coming for you too. Here is an incident from China!

The Daily Mail is reporting that a Chinaman bus driver was drinking and probably eating dog meat, with friends during lunch in the city of Wenzhou in southeast China when suddenly he ran into the streets. He viciously attacked a random woman, and began eating her face until people pulled him off of her.

The zombie attacker was hauled off by police, and the poor woman was rushed to a hospital, where she is undergoing surgery to repair her nose and lips.

chinese zombie
Chinese Zombie Attacker was named Dong.

Make no mistake people. This is the end of days. In my 83 years I have never seen such as this, stock up on your bibles and ammo now!                                               

Miami Bath Salt Zombies Continue to Spread Across Nation. Reports on Rise

Since I first broke the news of the impending Zombie Apocalypse that is being fueled by Miami Bath Salt and Sodomy, I have been inundated with reports of other zombie attacks from around the nation. I have been just as amazed by people that are more interested in complaining about how sodomy has nothing to do with this apocalypse. These Liberal Atheist Sodomites (LAS) will see how right I am when they are being sodomized by a homogay zombie while having their brains eatten from their still living body.

The simple fact is that sodomy is a horrible sin. So horrible that God himself calls it an ABOMINATION. This act along with the consumption of bath salt LSD cocaine turns these people into walking living abominations. We are in the end times people! Even the Obama Administrations, Centers for Disease Control (CDC) is telling us to prepare for the Zombie Apocalypse!

Second Zombie Attack in Texas, Zombie Plague Spreads.

This is real people, can there be any doubt now? There has been a second Zombie Attack in Texas. The bath salt Induced Sodomy Zombie Plague that I told you about yesterday has spread.
Texas zombie
Scene of the zombie attack, a Mexican mother eats her child's brain still lives
after stabbed in the chest and throat cut.

Miami Bath Salts Lead to Sodomy Induced Zombie Apocalypse

May 29, 2012 - On Friday the police responded to the 911 call that two naked men were fighting on a bike path along the Causeway, which was packed with traffic for Memorial Day weekend. The fight was taking place at the causeway exit near the Miami Herald building, which had a security cam recording that you saw yesterday on Adam Nelsons article.

When the police officer finally responded around 2 pm he found a naked man lying on top of the other naked man eating his face. The officer saw what the man was doing, and ordered him to stop. The man growled at the officer, and then returned to eating the victims face, mainly his victim’s nose and eyeballs. The officer then used his service weapon and shot the man, but the gunshot had no effect. Other sources confirmed that the man refused to obey, and continued his attack.

The surveillance video from The Herald shows two men lying nude and partially obscured by the MetroMover track. One man is motionless, but the other, presumably the man whose face was attacked, can be seen flailing his legs in pain. Although the attacker had been shot and the obvious pain the victim must have been in, to have his nose, eyes and face eaten, the paramedics were not seen attempting to rescue him. Probably because they knew that he was infected with the zombie plague and was now a carrier and would soon turn himself.

CDC admits Zombies are Real

Fox News reports that the Center for Disease Control (CDC) has posted a preparedness blog on their website warning Americans of what to do in case of the Zombie Apocalypse. It is entitled “Preparedness 101: Zombie Apocalypse” and is written by Assistant Surgeon General Ali Khan and instructs readers to stock up on food and water, as well as first aid supplies. It was also posted on their facebook page.
The report states:
“If zombies did start roaming the streets, CDC would conduct an investigation much like any other disease outbreak. CDC would provide technical assistance to cities, states, or international partners dealing with a zombie infestation.
This assistance might include consultation, lab testing and analysis, patient management and care, tracking of contacts, and infection control (including isolation and quarantine).
It’s likely that an investigation of this scenario would seek to accomplish several goals: determine the cause of the illness, the source of the infection/virus/toxin, learn how it is transmitted and how readily it is spread, how to break the cycle of transmission and thus prevent further cases, and how patients can best be treated.”

Wednesday, March 12, 2014

Short Grandma Hair is a SIN!!!

Over the years I have noticed that many of my fellow grandma’s have cropped off their hair for more easy to maintain short hair styles. But every time I see it it really ruffles my feathers. When we grew up we were told that women were to have long hair. Now these aged hussies have decided that tradition is no longer worth having. I maintain that this is not only an insult to tradition, teaching younger women that it it ok to look like men, but is also a sin.

The apostle Paul tells us in 1 Corinthians 11:3–15:
But I want you to understand that the head of every man is Christ, the head of a wife1 is her husband, and the head of Christ is God. 4 Every man who prays or prophesies with his head covered dishonors his head, 5 but every wife2 who prays or prophesies with her head uncovered dishonors her head, since it is the same as if her head were shaven. 6 For if a wife will not cover her head, then she should cut her hair short. But since it is disgraceful for a wife to cut off her hair or shave her head, let her cover her head. 7 For a man ought not to cover his head, since he is the image and glory of God, but woman is the glory of man. 8 For man was not made from woman, but woman from man. 9 Neither was man created for woman, but woman for man. 10 That is why a wife ought to have a symbol of authority on her head, because of the angels.3 11 Nevertheless, in the Lord woman is not independent of man nor man of woman; 12 for as woman was made from man, so man is now born of woman. And all things are from God. 13 Judge for yourselves: is it proper for a wife to pray to God with her head uncovered? 14 Does not nature itself teach you that if a man wears long hair it is a disgrace for him, 15 but if a woman has long hair, it is her glory? For her hair is given to her for a covering.