Thursday, January 16, 2014

Velma: Great Fictional American Hero


Velma Lilly Dinkley is the brains behind the Scooby Doo gang. If you watched cartoons from 1969 to the present then you are well aware that the scooby doo gang is a rag tag group of meddlesome teens who go around solving mysteries of the occult, instead of being motorcycle riding rough scallions or worse inner city thugs.

You are most likely also aware that the group is comprised of members of every un-christian and un-American bunch you can think of. There is Fred the ascot wearing, butt sex loving homosexual who is the leader of the group. His prized whorelot Daphne who is an ex cheerleader/sorority girl/stripper. And the duo of dirty hippies Shaggy who is obviously perpetually stoned on marijuana and Chrystal Meth; and his faithful but equally doomed to sin companion, Great Dane Scooby Doo. Scooby is a talking dog that is only understood by Shaggy, which is an obvious allusion to Shaggy tripping on mushrooms. The Show often reveals the duo to have the munchies.

But the heart of this sin treat of a show is revealed to be one true warrior of christ…VELMA!!!

 Velma – what a good christian name. I knew many Velma’s growing up. Unfortunately they are all dead, as I will soon be.

When other members of the gang run away from malevolent specters of Satan and other members of the dark occult underbelly of mystery she runs toward them to unmask them for the homogay creepy child molester next door that they are. For this I commend you Velma, and make you the second “Great Fictional American Hero”!


Velma Lilly Dinkley is a fictional character in the television animated series Scooby-Doo. She is prone to losing her glasses usually after falling off while being chased by the villain. She weasr a baggy orange sweater, short pleated skirt (A little too short if you ask me), knee socks, and Mary Janes. She is seen as the brain of the group.

She is well educated and an expert on many things including ancient Viking writing. She even had a career at NASA as a research scientist.

Unfortunately, Members of the liberal homogay fanbase of the Scooby-Doo series have speculated that Velma is a lesbian. But in later movies, including the second Scooby-Doo film, Scooby-Doo on Zombie Island, Scooby-Doo and the Witch’s Ghost and the Scooby-Doo! Mystery Incorporated series, show Velma having a heterosexual interest in various men, including most recently Shaggy.

Velma tried to clean up Shaggy and get him some help, but it failed. As a good christian woman she tried telling Shaggy what to eat, what to wear, even what to say. But ultimately Scooby’s initial reaction was anger, jealousy, and a sense of betrayal, from his assumed homogay bestiality partner, Shaggy. Velma (repeatedly) gave Shaggy an ultimatum, he had to choose between them, finally Shaggy chooses Scooby.

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