Friday, August 3, 2012

Denny's Celebration of Baconalia Has Pagan Roots

Anyone who watches TV, and who doesn't? How else will we know where to spend our hard earned christian dollars? Wil have noticed that the restruant of Denny's has a new sell the celebrates Bacon. What can be more christian then relishing in the tastiness of the swine that the coming of christ made availiable for gentiles? But alas! My investigative research has proven that there is an ancient pagan festival at the heart of this wonderful fest. According to seriouseats.com :
For those who, like me, are Latin-impaired, Baconalia is a twist on the Roman term Bacchanalia, essentially drunken wine festivals; what's Denny's celebration of bacon? Its regular hickory-smoked bacon, its turkey bacon, and a new pepper bacon, in all sorts of dishes and permutations.
Unlike the liberal media elite I went to college and learned things instead of participating in drunken keggers. Bacchus, or Dionysus as the greeks knew him, was the greco-roman god of the grape harvest, winemaking and wine, of ritual madness and ecstasy.That is right I said RITUAL MADNESS AND ECSTASY!!! He holds a fennel staff, tipped with a pine-cone and known as a thyrsus. Sometimes His thyrsus is wound with ivy and dripping with honey. It is a beneficent wand but also a weapon, and can be used to destroy those who oppose his cult, according to Wikipedia. Now, I dont need to tell you how homo gay that is. I think it is pretty obvious. Now is this the image that Denny's wants to show the world, can we not celebrate the wonderful glories of Gods bacon in the form of a BLT, bacon-packed breakfast plate, Bacon Flapjacks and Maple Bacon Ice Cream, without being an abomination unto God?