Monday, December 16, 2013

What Your Piercings Say About You

Piercings have been around for thousands of years, and can be found in most cultures around the world. From the cave men and the bones they would shove through their noses, to primitive Amazon tribes and their giant earrings, to modern day India and their “henna” tattoos, body modification comes in all different flavors. While most are ritualistic in nature, some are done for cosmetic appearance. Whatever the case may be, it’s sure to draw attention to the wearer.

Nowadays, what was once left for the primitive tribal people to take part in, is now being seen in mainstream cultures in first world countries. People of all ages are cashing in on this trend that doesn’t seem to be going away any time soon. From facial piercings, to body piercings, to tattoos all over, to even crazier methods like scarring, people are finding a cornucopia of new ways to decorate their flesh.


If you’re like me, you probably have immense respect for your body, and therefor have not defiled its surface with such practices are piercing or tattoos. My mother, and The Bible, taught me that my body is my temple and to treat it with respect. She also taught me that the majority of people who pierce and tattoo, are generally angsty, unhappy children in adults bodies, who are merely trying using their body art as a “shock” tactic to get back at their parents.
I’ve research the topic, and have compiled an extensive, well thought out list of the most popular piercings to-date, and the message they carry. Want to know what your piercing says about you, and what message it gives to the world? Well, look no further! Your friends at Modern Women Digest are here to help.

Eyebrow-piercing-581Eyebrow: This is the calling card piercing for white trash teenagers. Most people who get this piercing can be found living in trailer parks or public housing. They believe that by getting this piercing, they will appear more “tough” to their rival hoodlum gangs. If you ever come across someone with this piercing, however, don’t be afraid, as many people with this piercing are merely “poseurs” and not actually gang members.

IMG_0616Tongue: This piercing is most often sported by gay men, and incredibly promiscuous women. Usually, these men and women can be found in the pornographic movie field. It’s not uncommon though to see this piercing on average women who have never featured in porn films, but are simply trying to emulate their favorite porn actress or model. To the men out there reading this, if you’re looking for a quick, no strings attached one night stand or anonymous blowy in some scuzzy bar bathroom, find a girl with a tongue ring and you’re good to go.

belly-button-piercingsNaval: The majority of women who wear this particular piercing are vapid bimbos. You can usually find these airheads on the beach, in skimpy bikinis, tanning or playing beach ball in an attempt to show off how toned their bodies are to their male surfer counterparts. Common accessories that go along with these types of women are blonde hair, Gap jeans, and lime green VW Bugs that their daddies bought them for their Sweet 16.

IMG_0922_2Nostril: Most women who have this type of piercing are “bitches.” Before you get up in arms over my use of the word, take note that these women are usually the first ones to admit it. They’re bad, they know it, and what better way to show it than to drive a needle through their nose cartilage. If you ever come across one of these women, you’re in for trouble. It’s in your best interest to walk away quickly.

tumblr_lzjkfvEXzl1rpzo5ko1_1280Unconventional: These are the people I feel the most sorry for. If you ever come across a person with a multitude of nontraditional, mind-boggling piercings in places that should never have a hole in them, you can be rest assured that they probably weren’t hugged enough as a child by their parents. They most likely have all the piercings that they do specifically for the attention that it brings. If you ever see these types of people, I would suggest giving them a hug and telling them everything is alright, but it might be unsafe to do, as some of their piercings could possibly cut you on contact.

We’d like to think that the piercing craze that has swept the world is merely another fad, but we’re not so sure at this point. Not only is it gaining momentum, but people are inventing new and crazy ways to piercing their bodies in unsafe and unattractive ways. If you know someone who is involved in the body modification scene, please pray for them. We at Modern Women Digest certainly will be.